(Unnamed work by Gold Man)

Started by Gold Man, February 05, 2014, 04:21:47 PM

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February 05, 2014, 04:21:47 PM Last Edit: July 17, 2014, 09:42:27 AM by Gold Man
Hey guys, since I've been active like crazy on the forums due to all the hype the Unity project is giving me, I felt like posting a bit of one of my personal works of literature on here. The story gives my ego (ego=Gold Man) a bit of a more serious backdrop, sort of like a hitman or assassin. Anyways, here's the first chapter of it. If you guys like it, I might try to post up the other chapters (I have currently made 6 chapters worth of writing on this).

Please note: I am in no way an official author of any sort, so I apologize if my writing isn't exactly "professional". I also have no official title for it, though my working title is: Gold Man: Gun for Hire. I will also accept constructive criticism for my work, as it will help me to perfect the other chapters I've already written.

Chapter 1:
[spoiler]
It was another dark, rainy night in the slums of Techno Vista.
He just sat there, waiting patiently across from the local nightclub, hoping his target would show up as suspected. He saw him enter the place, and he knew that no customers were allowed to sleep there like it was some hotel. He knew he had to come out of there eventually. Unfortunately, Gold Man's patience was wearing down.

He was planning to run right down there, barge into the club, hunt down his target with extreme prejudice, and kill him where he laid. He knew the Organization would consider it "sloppy, inefficient, and foolhardy", even if he did manage to take down his target. What mattered more than the kill itself was always how the kill was accomplished.
Of course though, that's how the Organization always ran.

They wanted their hitmen to be the best-of-the-best, unbeatable, and more importantly, undetectable. The Organization already had tons of top-notch hitmen at their disposal; however it was important that they were trained to not leave any traces, to keep their associates well protected from the authorities. They trained their men to kill in the same manner, leave the same parts of evidence lying around to lose the cops. But every now and then, there was always the odd killer that stood out from the rest. One that had that extra detail, that extra feature or speciality, that made them shine like a bright crown jewel.
Gold Man was that crown jewel.

His golden exo-suit of armor, that glowing red visor, and his skills, all made him one of the Organization's most notorious hitmen. Not to mention, all the countless cybernetics that enhanced his skills and personal cache of weaponry that he either bought, made, or stole from his countless victims. With the amount of skills, weapons, and enhancements he has, one has to wonder:
"Is he even human?"

During his reminisce, his radar started beeping. The target was about to leave the nightclub. Gold Man cracked open his sniper rifle from his armored backpack, set it up, and lined up the shot towards the opening doors. He saw the little dot moving, and poised for the shot, hoping to strike him before he could make it to his limousine, or run away in the odd chance his gold armor gave him away. He had a confirmed visual on the target, as he opened the door, with his scope showing a face that looked like a million bucks. Primed and ready, target locked, now to tag him before the car shows up.

Slight problem, the car has shown up alright, with a fully automated MGX-64 turret, capable of detecting electric devices and heat signatures within a 2-mile radius.
And he was in that radius.
[/spoiler]

Chapter 2:
[spoiler]
T
he turret was locked onto Gold Man's weaponry and heat signature within seconds, firing an entire bulletstorm instantaneously. Luckily, he had prepared for unexpected fire by hiding behind a brick wall from a derelict building next to the nightclub.
But that wall would only give him cover for four seconds, as the ammunition was meant to take down walls.

He quickly swapped weapons, storing his rifle by sliding the barrel in, folding the stock and trigger, and removing the scope, all going into his backpack. He managed to run just as the wall was torn down, and dodged several bullets. Taking out his machine gun, he retorted back with small bursts of gunfire, while the turret was automatically reloading itself.

Running atop the rooftops to advance on the limousine, he noticed that the turret had command over the vehicle, forcing it to move ahead to catch the assassin. The turret continued in firing its dual-machine guns, while Gold Man was running hastily in an attempt to avoid the shots. While running, he had almost forgotten he'd equipped himself with jet boots, and decided to start flying off instead of acting like a parkour artist.

The limousine followed, trying to mark a few shots off him in the air. Eventually Gold Man had enough, pulled out his grenades, and threw them at the turret. Luckily, the MGX-64 model wasn't equipped with a detector for incoming or nearby explosives, making the grenades land easily onto the roof and the mount, blowing a big hole in the limo.

Now that the car had stopped receiving directions from an AI, it just simply drove straight-forward into a wall of a building, with a loud crash. Fortunately though, when it's the dead of night in the slums of Techno Vista, you could blow up a warehouse, and nobody would bat an eye.

The slums were notorious for their high crime rates, death tolls, and even property damage. It was once a booming city, but when technology advances, sometimes old pieces of civilization are left behind.
The slums were that old piece of civilization in Techno Vista.

There were still people that lived in the hallowed buildings, or even what's left of them. If anything though, the "entertainment district", literally a nightclub and a bar beside each other, were always alive and howling. It was also a hotspot for the rich that decided to leave their perfect lives for the day, and do evil deeds at night. Drug deals, armed robberies, assassinations, murders, you name it, it all took place in the slums.
Anyone who did crimes in the heart of Techno Vista were either madmen, or had a deathwish.

The city of Techno Vista was very strict with the laws. A minor offence such as littering or speeding was met with tickets, or community service. DUIs or drug abuse were met with sentences in the prison, and manslaughter or murders, or even gunfights, meant instant death. If you lived in Techno Vista, you were rich, had a job for a business, and lived a perfect life. If you lived in the slums, you were poor, or up to no good.
Much like his target was.

His target was Rob Méras, a local businessman who ran a pharmaceutical business firm, which was really a front for his drug operations. He was the headmaster of the "Rob Mob", a notorious drug cartel who ran the slums like they were kings. An employee of his firm found out about his activities, and told the Organization he would pay handsomely to have his boss taken out, if he could have protection from the gang's retaliation and take over as the CEO of the firm. They complied, and they sent Gold Man out to deal with it.
"Now to see if he's dead" he said aloud.

He approached the destroyed limo carefully, noting that if Rob was still awake, he would probably suspect his assassin coming for him. As he walked closer, he heard some clicks from the car, and figured he was still alive, prepping his firearm. There were many ways to deal with this situation.
"I could throw a grenade in, just to make sure he's dead", he contemplated. "Or, I could run right in and slit his throat, and possibly die if he's holding an explosive."
He thought of the ways he could kill him, but decided to play it safe, just in-case he was waiting for him. Pulling out a grenade, he pressed the timer, lobbed the ball of exploding metal into the large hole of the limo, and walked away, hearing a deafening boom in the process. Looking back, he saw the whole limo was ablaze, and believed if anything was in there, it was dead.
You have to be thorough, make sure that body was in there, and that he didn't escape at the last second he thought. He scanned the limo with the x-ray function on his visor:
Zero life forms found. Two skeletons located.
"Sloppy, they're gonna think it was sloppy" he said.
[/spoiler]

It's no Odyssey but it's a great start, keep it up :tu:. So he's supposed to look like Robo-Cop with a gold finish? :shrug:
"I would explain it to you but your head might explode."


Quote from: {TCE}Call-of-Duty on February 05, 2014, 05:37:57 PM
It's no Odyssey but it's a good start, keep it up :tu:. So he's supposed to look like Robo-Cop with a gold finish? :shrug:

I guess I hadn't thought of it that way, but sort of like Robo-Cop, except he's a contract killer here instead of fighting for justice. :P

Either way, glad you liked it! :D

I thought it was pretty descent. I'm not one to read just any fiction I see, but I'm definitely interested in reading more of this, Good work  :robots:

You sir, have wrote a book I would pay money for (assuming the rest is this good, and its not uber short)

I have added Chapter 2 to my thread, if you're still interested, read on!

Nice story. Why is the organization called that? Does it have a name?
Nothing is written here...

I would read this. My only complaints are:

"storing his rifle by sliding the barrel in, folding the stock and trigger, and removing the scope", instead of "sliding the barrel in", I think it should be detaching or unscrewing the barrel (a telescopic barrel wouldn't work and if it isn't telescopic there is the whole action of the gun that would be in the way) and it's probably not necessary to fold the trigger.

"lobbed the ball of exploding metal", maybe explosive metal instead of exploding metal

Describe the environment a little more, because I'm interested in what this place looks like. Continue on with "Is he even human?", I like philosophical stuff.

This is pretty good stuff. Very well written. I think we all want to see chapter 3! :)




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